De Courcey Albion & their faithful are in shock this afternoon as Seamus O’Callaghan has annouced he has signed for a 3rd Division Junior League team in Toronto. He has also announced that he will not be available for selection for this sundays AOH 1st Round Cup game against Bohemians & that he leaves on tuesday for his new club “Toronto Fire Alarms”. Merchandise sales with O’Callaghan No. 8 on the back from last season are said to have gone through the roof & posters of his famous number 8 shirt with the collection of all 35 yellow cards he picked up in the last half of last season have also soared sales wise.

An angry mob is expected to gather at the gates of Eli Lilly on sunday morning to confront Albions management for letting such a deal go through. They have issued this statement “It is with sadness we today announce the sale of Seamus O’Callaghan to the Toronto Fire Alarms, in the end it was an offer too huge to refuse & we also figure that our disciplinary record will probably go from worst in the league to best in the league starting from Sunday. We’ve advised O’Callaghan to keep clear of our game on sunday to avoid complications with the fans. We also note that the amount of money O’Callaghan has cost the club on yellow cards from last season, would probably have paid for a return flight to Toronto for him.”